4.16.2015

Balance and Mom Guilt


I love both these kids equally and in their very own ways. I'd be lying if I said things were always equal around here. They aren't and that's just the way it is.
  
Carson is the "baby". There are days he demands most of my attention. He is everywhere and into everything. He's also incredibly loving and a cuddler. This means that he has his "hang all over mommy" moments days.

Finley is our smart, active, inquisitive "big girl". She wants me all to herself 150% of the time. Literally. Once upon a time it was just her and I, all day long. She wants to help me cook, do her activity books together, ask question after question. I love the engagement and conversation that is coming from her lately. She says things that amaze us daily.

I've never really felt guilt about sharing myself between the two of them. It's always us three. Most of our quality time is spent together. Except for the past couple of days. I don't know what it is but Finley has just been really...demanding? I'm not even sure if that's the right word. It's just her. She's a drama queen. Everything is epic right now - A bumped knee, a piece of cereal dropped, an empty water cup. "Put me on the potty, Mommy!"... as if she can't do that herself. She's attention seeking for sure. Like I said - she wants it all. Not possible.

That leaves our boy. Our sweet, teething, cuddly boy. Balance. One can try. But I still can't help but feel like he's gotten the shaft today. I looked at him across the table during lunch and realized that Finley and I had been having a full on conversation while we cooked and sat down to eat and he just....sat. Teething has him feeling off and he just chilled there quietly. How sad, right? I know. I know. He can't cook, or join in the conversation yet. But still. I guess this is mom guilt? 

 

So there's this. Carson's nap was moved to our bed today. We did the same thing a few days ago. Every so often one of them will nap with me (or Joe and I, if he's off work). An attempt at balance...and some extra snuggles. They also both get one on one time with me in their rooms before bed every night. 

Our girl is nearing four already. Sadly, time flies and little doesn't last. I'm holding on to our last baby being a baby (don't you tell me he isn't anymore!) for as long as I can. 


I'd say he was happy to wake up next to Momma ;) 

Maybe it's just their ages - or their stages? Any other mommy's ever get a little twinge of the mom guilt? 

4 comments:

  1. It's a quick season--they need so much when they are little--and your relationship will obviously change many times as the years pass. Hopefully you're able to make the most of what each stage brings!

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  2. Hi April. I have 3 kids, and it really is hard to balance some days when all of them become more clingy than usual at the same time. My eldest understands, she's been an only child for 7 years and got all the attention she ever wanted. Now she helps me with her baby brother and sister who for the most just want me haha.

    I know things will only get better for both of us in the coming years.

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  3. It's clear they both love their mommy very much! I can only imagine it's hard to say no to them.

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  4. Totally, it's normal but still hard. I think part of it comes from all the multitasking required of motherhood. It's hard to feel like you're doing everything you need/want to. Thank God for his sweet grace

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